Do you still want me
by Alice-Scamander
Summary: this story had a plot but then I just went off on a tangent! Harry and Ginny have trouble reconnecting after the war, it's just never the right time to rekindle their relationship.


It's not that they didn't love each other, it's just that it never seemed to match up. Never did they really have time to sit down and talk about their situation, talk about them. Right after the war it just wasn't the time to sit down and rekindle their relationship. The pain of losing loved ones was too raw. Time was spent with the Weasleys and the Order. They barely made it home to the Burrow or Kingsley had whisked Harry away to the ministry. The aurors were heavily outnumbered and they needed assistance and Harry felt it was his duty to help, after all he felt like it was his fault they were in this mess in the first place. Ginny wasn't too happy about that but she knew it's what he wanted. He couldn't just sit still and let other people handle it, not this, not now. For convenience Harry got his own flat close to the ministry. Mrs Weasley rather wanted him at the Burrow and insisted he was always welcome. After which he said: "You've housed many people and I know I'm always welcome, but you deserve to rest and to be with your family."

"But you are family," Mrs Weasley said. Harry hugged her.

"Don't worry, you'll see me around."

But late nights at the ministry meant he would only hop in for dinner every so often and weekends were often spent with Teddy. Ginny and Harry talked and they hugged each other, but the house was always full of people and there was never quite enough time to talk about them. They didn't need to say that out loud. They knew it just wasn't the time. Sometimes Ginny noticed the pain in Harry's eyes, the regret, the frustration. Sometimes she wished he'd just kiss her, they would talk eventually. But he wasn't that kind of person. He needed to be clear about what he wanted and he wanted to be sure Ginny still wanted him and they were okay before he did anything.

By the time the work had died down at the ministry, Ginny had gone to Hogwarts. Harry would wander around the Burrow sometimes. Mrs Weasley always worried about him, but said nothing.

The first time they really could talk was when Ginny came home for Christmas break. It was two days after Christmas and everyone was down in the living room but Ginny and Harry found themselves alone in the kitchen. It wasn't going to be a long conversation but at least for once they could talk freely.

"How are you?" Harry asked, focusing on washing dishes.

"I'm good, Hogwarts is... Hogwarts has changed... how are you?" Ginny said, folding and refolding towels just so she didn't have to look at him.

"Good, I'm going to be an official auror if I pass my training," Harry said, swerving around the topic for fear of being turned down.

"That's good to hear. I know you really wanted that," she said. A silence fell. Harry turned around to look at her.

"Harry, I—" she stopped as Ron entered the kitchen. They shared a look of understanding. They had missed their small window of opportunity.

"We want to start opening the presents," he said, his ears red as if he sensed what he had walked in on. Ginny brushed past him, out of the kitchen. Ron looked at Harry.

"Don't mess it up," Ron said, no need to specify what he was referring to.

"There is nothing to mess up," Harry answered bitterly and followed Ginny into the living room before Ron could reply.

The next time they were alone, it was right after New Year and they were just helping clean up and both ended up in the pantry at the same time.

"Happy New Year," Ginny said, turning around in a lovely dress that hugged her body just right.

"Happy New Year, Gin," Harry said, looking for a spot on the shelf.

"Kiss me," Ginny said. Harry swiftly turned around, almost knocking over a jar. Ginny had that hard, blazing look on her face that made his younger self's knees buckle.

"Ginny, we should—" Harry stopped when she stepped closer to him and put her arms around his neck. Harry sighed, conflicted. He wanted to kiss her more than anything, she was standing there looking as lovely as ever, her eyes focused on him, asking him.

"Dammit, Gin, only you could make me feel so many things at once," and with that he took hold of her and finally kissed her. Warm honey spread through his veins, the beast in his chest roaring for the first time in what felt like actual years and he grabbed her closer, not wanting to let her go. But they had already been in the pantry for far too long and before he knew it, Ginny was out of his arms and back out. Harry waited a second or two before walking out too. Hermione shot him a pointed look. He ignored it.

They would talk, right now, before Ginny left for Hogwarts, he'd find the time. He spent the next day looking for a good moment and Ginny met his eyes multiple times, but they were unable to sneak away. Just when Harry saw her go out in the garden and he stepped out, an owl landed in front of him. He was urgently needed at the ministry. He cursed at himself, left a note and disapparated to the ministry.

Harry wanted to talk and he had decided he would not wait around for months to see her. So he checked the dates for the Hogsmeade weekends once he came home from his mission. The time would be the weekend of Valentine's. He didn't set up an actual date with Ginny but he sent her a note in the morning reading I will be waiting past the gate.

He stood at the gates trying not to gain much attention but showing up at Hogwarts on Valentine's Day made people stare just a little longer. However he forgot all that when he spotted a redhead nearing the gates and he smiled warmly. She shot a smile back that made him want to run up to her and just kiss her. But he didn't. Ginny walked up to him and hugged him. His hand landed on her small waist and he inhaled the familiar scent of her hair.

"Hey," she softly said before taking a step back.

"Let's walk," Harry said. Ginny tagged along with him until they were past even the Shrieking Shack, far away from everyone, when he halted. He sat down on a piece of rock and Ginny sat beside him.

"Ginny, I —" Harry started. Ginny put a hand on his knee.

"Harry, I know why you did what you did and I respect that. And if you don't want me back that's fine. All I ask from you is tell me what you want. It's been months. You always give me a look that makes my heart skip a beat and it looks like you're going to say something but you always disappear. If you want me back then I'm all in. But say something, because I'm tired of waiting around," Ginny said, talking quickly in fear of Harry interrupting her or to lose the nerve to say what she meant.

"That's all I needed to hear. I'm all in too. I've always been, you've kept me sane even when you weren't there. I just needed to know if you still wanted me. I've changed, I cannot deny that. I wouldn't want to take you for granted, you're much too important to me to do that," Harry said, his heart beating fast. He softly focused on Ginny's face for her reaction.

Ginny simply reacted by pulling him closer by the collar of his jacket and kissed him like she had never done before. Liquid luck, firewhiskey... it all seemed dull compared to what he was feeling right now. He was glad he was sitting down because he was certain his legs would have given out.

Far too soon Ginny leaned away. After all they were still in public and they had to keep it decent.

"How is your auroring going?" Ginny asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Good, I actually had my final test yesterday," Harry said, "I get the results on Monday."

"I am sure you did great, if anyone should be an auror it's you," Ginny said, entwining her fingers with his.

Harry squeezed her hand, "You think so?"

"Even if you don't want to you tend to seek out danger. It's important to you that you're on the good side, and contributing," Ginny said. Harry smiled at her.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," he said, "How is your last year going?"

"Good. My grades are good but I am really focusing on quidditch too, hoping to get scouted by one of the teams," Ginny told him excitedly.

"Harpies?"

"Yes — I mean preferably," she said.

"Well, they'd be making a big mistake if they didn't want you, you're the best player on any team," Harry said.

Ginny smiled at him, "Would you mind repeating that in proximity of my brothers?"

"Ah, I think I might be on thin ice with some of them at this very moment," Harry signed between the two of them. Ginny laughed and Harry just wanted to make her laugh more.

Harry walked back to the gates with Ginny. It seemed word had gotten out he was in Hogsmeade because he noticed a few reporters as soon as the two of them made it back to the town's centre. The reporters were now trying to follow him while hiding very poorly.

"If you want to walk the rest without me, I understand. I am in the spotlight but it doesn't mean you have to be," Harry said softly. Ginny shook her head.

"I'm taking every minute I can get," she said. Harry could not have hidden his smile even if he wanted to.

When they got back to the gate, he kissed Ginny for the last time. It could be weeks or even months before they saw each other again. He knew they would be in the paper's the following day but for once he did not care who knew.

That was until the next day when he heard rapid knocking on the door.

"Harry! Open the door! Ron— calm down!" Harry could hear Hermione at the other side of the door. He let his two best friends into his apartment. Ron was holding the newspaper Harry had just been reading.

"Look, I don't care what they write but I can see very well what you're doing? I thought you were going to talk to her but no you had to- had to just go over and kissher," Ron said.

"Ron, sit down," Hermione said. Ron breathed in deeply and sat down, focused on Harry.

"That picture was made after we talked for 5 hours. It was Valentine's Day. I took her on a date," Harry said. When Ron deflated, Hermione looked relieved.

"Well, in that case I guess you have my permission to date Ginny," Ron said.

"Your permission?! I don't need your permission, I can date who I bloody well want to. Ginny needs no one's approval she can make her own choices just fine," Harry said fuming.

"Why is this an issue?" Hermione sighed.

"He hurt her," Ron yelled.

"Like you're a stellar example on hurting people!" Harry said, pointing at Hermione. A bang went off in the room as Hermione silenced both.

"That's enough," she said, and a silence fell, "Harry, explain yourself. I tried but ..."

"I can never stop thinking about her. I know I never said so but those months on the run I'd just always check the Map to see where she was. I was listening to that radio just as much as you, scared to hear a name I knew, but most of all Ginny's. I love her more than anything, she gets me without having to explain myself and she sees me for who I am good or bad."

"She might be your sister but she's an adult and whatever she chooses, is her call, she's smart enough. And she could do a lot worse than Harry and you know it. We all make mistakes," and with that Hermione left.

"Look, I'm sorry," Ron said.

"I'm sorry too," Harry said. Ron stood up and hugged Harry.

"Mum expects you for dinner today as usual. I don't have to tell you she didn't mind the news," Ron said, waving the newspaper.

In was the final quiditch game and Ravenclaw was up against Gryffindor. Harry, Ron and Hermione made it down to Hogwarts to watch the final game. Harry could see Ginny was visibly nervous, there were some trainers there seeking new talent for their team and she would love to be on there. There would still be try-outs later but she wanted to be ahead of the rest.

All that nervousness disappeared as she pushed off the ground. The game was exciting, Ginny was a good chaser but Ravenclaw's keeper seemed to know her moves and although they managed to score, the keeper stopped many attempts too. Everyone was sitting at the edge of their seat as the ball went back and forth. They were 40 points ahead when the Ravenclaw's seeker suddenly sped after the snitch. As everyone was momentarily distracted by the seeker's move, Ginny saw her chance, she threw the quaffle into the air and kicked it through the rings with her foot. An exceptional move which the keeper had not seen coming. As the ball soared through the rings, loud cheers erupted from the Gryffindor stand and a few seconds later they cheered even louder. Ginny turned around and saw their seeker holding the snitch in his hand, seemed the Ravenclaw's seeker had narrowly missed.

Ginny quickly flew back to the ground where her other team mates joined in a big celebratory hug. After a lot of hugging and cheering they made their way to the dressing rooms. Hermione and Ron had to head home but Harry didn't want to leave before seeing her so he said goodbye to his friends and followed the crowd back to the Gryffindor room.

The team came in and loud applause burst out. The team members were carried across the room and it took at least another 30 minutes before the common room somewhat cooled down and Ginny managed to make her way to Harry.

"Harry—the Harpies told me to participate in their pre-try outs and there's a good chance I'll get in," Ginny excitably said once he was within hearing distance. Ginny almost jumped at him and he willingly caught her in his arms and kissed her.

"I am so proud of you," he said. Ginny kissed him again before she noticed how many looks they were getting.

"Let's walk," she said and pulled him with her out of the common room and into the castle until they came upon the Room of Requirement, a spot where they certainly wouldn't be disturbed.

Harry walked into the Burrow on Saturday evening for dinner. He suddenly noticed it was very quiet and softly walked into the living room, dreading what he'd find. Ron looked at him with an odd look he couldn't really read. Hermione seemed on the edge of tears. George looked almost angry. Mrs Weasley came down the stairs and didn't look at him at all. Then he noticed Ginny right behind her mum.

"Leave him be," Ginny said. Harry got more puzzled every second, wondering if he had done anything wrong. Ginny signed to follow him upstairs. Harry couldn't understand why but feeling the mood in the room he simply followed.

Harry walked into Ginny's room and sat beside Ginny on the bed. He said nothing and waited for Ginny to speak.

"Harry, I have to tell you something, but please don't freak out," Ginny told him.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, taking Ginny's hand in his. She only softly squeezed back.

"I just found—Harry, I'm pregnant," she said. Harry's heart sank.

"That's uhm... that's unexpected," Harry could only say, too baffled to form any more words just yet. Sitting in Ginny's pink room with posters of the Harpies and the Weird Sisters, this conversation felt very out of place.

"Are you okay? Do you feel alright?" Harry said and Ginny nodded.

"I'm okay," she said, although tears were welling up in her eyes. Harry pulled her into a hug and held her close.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Ginny shook her head, "It's as much my fault as it is yours."

"So what do we do now?" Harry asked. Ginny shrugged.

"I just found out, so did you, we'll give it time to sink in and we'll talk again tomorrow?" she proposed. Harry nodded, too many thoughts swimming around in his head.

"I love you, Gin," Harry said. Ginny softly kissed him.

"I love you too."

Harry and Ginny made it back downstairs and most of the family was already at the table. They all looked up when they came in but said nothing. Harry stood there awkwardly. Mrs Weasley came over to him with a worried look on her face and engulfed him in the kind of motherly hug he needed right now.

"It's alright," she said before releasing him. Then she firmly told them to start on the food before it got cold and the attention was diverted to the meal instead. Yet Harry could sense the glances that were thrown his way.

Harry returned to the Burrow on Sunday afternoon and found Ginny sitting in the garden. He walked up to her and kissed her, before sitting down beside her.

"Did you have time to think it over?" Ginny asked.

Harry nodded, "Yeah, once it sunk in. You?"

"Yes. I've also been to the Harpies. I had try-out last week. We talked," she said.

"What did they say?" Harry asked, he knew how important quidditch was to her.

"Well, actually seeing as they're an all-female team, they're quite used to dealing with pregnancy. They weren't hyped about it but I can just continue training and normally I would have gone as a back-up. They said if I can make good results that about a year and a half I can maybe replace the chaser who will be retiring," she said.

"That's great to hear," Harry smiled. Ginny shrugged.

"Yes— but... I would like to you to take some time off too for the baby," she said and saying it out loud made it so much more real, "because there is a day care at the Harpies but I'd want them to be home too and ...you know. I know keeping the baby is fully my choice so I wouldn't want to hold it against you, but —"

Harry stopped her there. "Ginny, I fully stand behind your choice. I love you. I'm here for you. I'm here for one baby or five or ten. We're young and this wasn't planned but I'd like to think we'd have kids eventually. I'll be here, I'll take time off whenever needed. I know what it's like to be unwanted and I'd never want our child to feel that way."

Ginny was almost tearing up again.

"Honestly, if you think about it, after the war and all the bad stuff, a new bundle of life, might be something we need," Ginny said, sounding much older than she was.

"Perhaps that's true," Harry said, pulling Ginny close and letting her lean on his shoulder.

A little bit later Ron and Hermione joined them.

"Are we good?" Harry asked.

"We're good," Ron nodded. Harry wasn't sure about Ginny's other brothers, but Ron clarified.

"Ginny threatened us with a bat-bogey hex after you left, we're all good."

"That's my girl," Harry said and Ginny smiled at him.

"It's not like our parents are a stellar example on birth control," Ginny bluntly said, making them all laugh, even by wizarding standards seven was a lot.

Hermione was wiggling about.

"Spit it out, Hermione," Harry said.

"Well, I don't want to be overbearing and you can stop me at any time but I've been to the library," all of them smiled at that, "to look up about wizarding pregnancy and I've just looked up some Healers that are great but I'd still recommend getting an ultrasound done and start taking vitamins— I mean if you need anything just let me know..." she trailed off.

"Thanks 'Mione, we'll definitely need that," Harry said.

"What's an ultrasound?" Ron asked.

"It shows you a picture of the baby as it's growing and you can see how big it is and you can see the gender, it's completely safe," Hermione explained.

"Before it's born?!" Ginny asked excitedly. Both Harry and Hermione nodded.

"Harry I want to get one of those," she said. Harry beamed at her.

"We'll go as often as you want," he promised. She smiled happily at that.

Harry was nervous for the first time in a while. He was waiting outside the office of his head auror, Gawain Robards. Ginny was now 2 months along. Harry wanted to tell the head auror about it before it was smeared far and wide in the papers, which he was sure would happen. Ron had waited outside with Harry as long as he could but Ron's team had a mission and he had to leave. Harry was left alone with his thoughts. He was trying to find the best way to phrase the news.

"Potter," Robards said from the door. Harry stepped inside and sat down across from his boss.

"So, what brings you here today?" Mr Robards asked as he sat down at his desk.

"Well, I wanted to tell you this before it gets to the newspapers," Harry started, his heart beating too fast and he wasn't even sure why.

Mr Robards smiled, "Yes, that seems to be an issue with you."

"Ginny, my girlfriend, is pregnant. So I might be taking some time off in a few months," Harry said.

"Well, first of all congratulations. Forgive me to pry, but —was it planned? You don't have to answer," Mr Robards said.

"No, not really to be fair," Harry answered, embarrassed.

"You'd be surprised but it's been a true baby boom after the end of the war and I think it will continue that way for a whilee. Well from my side, just give me the dates on time and we're all good," Mr Robards said happily.

"Thank you," Harry said, surprised at the relaxed turn the conversation had taken. Harry stood up and was about to leave when Mr Robards stopped him.

"Harry, from one man to another —and again feel free to ignore what I'm saying— I know you didn't grow up in the best environment but I'm sure you'll do great."

"I -uhm- thanks, that means a lot," Harry said, feeling his eyes sting. He couldn't deny he had been having doubts about his own abilities as a future father, but at least he knew Ginny was going to do great. It was like she changed the moment she found it. She was still the same fiery girl, but a maternal instinct had come out of which Harry was sure she inherited it from her mom.

Ginny was eight months pregnant and now too far along to go to training or do much else. She had moved into Harry's apartment a few months ago. Something Mrs Weasley wasn't too happy about, but they were at the Burrow all the time anyway so she didn't complain. Ginny was making tea when she heard the door open.

"Harry?" she called out and turned around. Harry was standing in front of her looking worse for wear. He clearly came home straight from the mission instead of cleaning up first. This was his last mission for now too, he wanted to be near when she went into labour.

"I dreamed about you last night and I had to see you as soon as I could," he said walking up to her and kissing her. Ginny smiled, Harry had turned out to be quite concerned and he might doubt his own abilities but Ginny knew he'd do anything to give his child a happy life.

"I'm fine," Ginny assured him, but then suddenly gasped. Harry looked alarmed but Ginny waved her hand at him.

"He's awake and he's kicking, we're fine," she said. Harry bent down and put his hands on Ginny's belly. Ginny guided his hand to where he was kicking.

"You know, Harry, I think I've found a name," she said. He stood up and waited for her to go on.

"How about this: James Sirius Potter," she said, waiting for his reaction. Harry teared up. They had agreed to use James but they hadn't been sure yet how to combine it or with what.

"That's perfect," he said, kissing her again, "Are you sure you don't want a name from your side?"

Ginny shrugged as she led him to the couch.

"I've told you before, I've got plenty of family, this is yours," she rubbed across her belly.

"You know you're far too good to me?" Harry said, as Ginny started to check if he had any wounds that needed tending. It turned it was mostly just grime and clothing tears.

"I am completely aware," she joked.

Harry was holding 3-year old James as Ginny flew through the stadium. He was yelling as loud as he could along with the rest of the crowd. They were playing the first game of the season and everyone was excited!

James yelled 'Harpies 'as loud as he could. He followed his mom around the stadium excitedly.

When the Harpies won, he applauded with the rest of the crowd.

"Ha, and they thought she was about to retire after winning the World Cup, they wouldn't have won without her," Ron said.

"I think she might retire when she can't manage to get on a broom anymore," Harry fondly smiled.

"Someone will have to drag her off," Hermione joked.

Harry said, "James, you want to go and congratulate mom?"

The toddler happily yelled 'yes', so Harry picked him up.

"At the Burrow later?" he asked. Ron nodded.

Harry made his way down to the dressing room along other family members and friends and waited in the hall to the dressing room. James was swiftly running around everyone but Harry let him, he had been well-behaved the whole game. The Seeker of their team came out and James almost ran into her.

"Jamesy! I got something for you!" she said, she was the youngest of the team and didn't have children yet and loved doting on James. She went into her pocket and took out a snitch.

"Don't worry, I charmed it to stay at his height," she told Harry and he thanked her gladly. James happily showed the snitch to his dad.

"James, what do we say?" he said.

"Thank you!" James smiled his biggest smile. She said goodbye and walked on to greet her family.

A minute later, Ginny walked out of the door and James ran to her as soon as he spotted her. She picked him up and gave him a kiss.

"How's my favourite boy doing?" she asked.

"Ouch, I thought that was me," Harry commented, feigning to be hurt.

"I think we've established that enough," Ginny smiled, slipping her engagement ring back on her finger.

"You haven't told them anything, right?" Ginny asked, she knew Harry wasn't the best at keeping secrets.

"No, I told them we'd meet them at the Burrow later," Harry smiled, Ginny leaned in to give him a small kiss, to which James protested.

"Alright James, remember what we practised?" Ginny asked as they walked towards the exit, away from the crowd.

"I am a big brother!" he said. Harry stopped dead in his tracks.

"What?" he asked puzzled. They taught him to announce their wedding. He looked at Ginny a little confused. She smiled at him.

He smiled widely, "Really?"

She nodded. "It's still early but yeah... we might need to postpone our wedding a few months..."

Harry pulled her close and kissed her, James squeezed between them.

"I am trying to figure out if I am more excited about our wedding or this?" Harry smiled. Ginny winked at him.

"Don't worry, Potter, I completely understand."


End file.
